


Don't Cry

by sixtyone



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, It will really hurt, M/M, One Shot, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 21:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20015143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtyone/pseuds/sixtyone
Summary: Forgetting Kyungsoo was getting easy for Chanyeol. He really thought he was finally getting over him.That day proved him wrong.





	Don't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Park Bom's song with the same title.
> 
> This is my first attempt to write fic ideas that are plaguing my mind.
> 
> I hope you guys like it!

Chanyeol promised not too long ago. 

I’m done.  
It will all go away. 

Those words would always run through his mind. It was becoming a tiring cycle that continues to torture him. For three years he tried so hard to get rid of it. Chanyeol thought he was doing really well for all these years. 

Forgetting Kyungsoo was getting easy for him. He really thought he was finally getting over him.

That day proved him wrong.

It was proved when he was greeted by Kyungsoo at his doorstep with a soft smile on his face. And then he found himself walking next to Kyungsoo on the streets, freezing themselves to death. The air really had no mercy on their bodies. Each blow feels like a set of icicles piercing their exposed faces.

“Why are we on the streets freezing our butts again?” Kyungsoo asked. He huffed as the cold gets the best of him.

“Well, you said you wanted to take a walk,” Chanyeol wittily replied. He was right though. Kyungsoo said he misses the neighborhood so much. He had been away for three years, working a desk job in an advertising agency. As much as he wanted to stay in the neighborhood, his job required him to move to the city. He never really went back as his family also decided to move there a year after. Chanyeol had busied himself teaching music and he loved every minute of it. It even distracted about the things that worried him, things that made him sad, and the things he wished he had.

“We shouldn’t have. Let’s go to a warmer place. I’m about to die here,” Kyungsoo walked even faster, as if he only had seconds until his face gets completely frozen. Chanyeol tried to match up with his pace. It wasn’t that hard really when had longer legs.

“Let’s just go there,” Chanyeol pointed at a small coffee shop right across the street. Kyungsoo narrowed his gaze on the other side of the street, analyzing the shop with a curious look on his face.

“Has it always have been there?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yes. Why do you always forget?”

“You know too well that I’m not good with directions. That’s pretty much a great indication that I suck at remembering places,” Those words came out like a whine from Kyungsoo’s mouth. Chanyeol couldn’t help but chuckle.

Chanyeol could barely open his eyes but still, he took a little effort to steal glances at Kyungsoo. He looked like the old Kyungsoo he knew. He might have cut his hair shorter but that didn’t change the eyes that would always look at him, as if he could see right through Chanyeol’s soul, even telling you that he is curious about everything. Chanyeol saw himself getting pulled in.

Chanyeol sighed as he gets the drift of his thoughts. Not again. If he could just forget about the things that make him like Kyungsoo so much. His weird jokes, his responsible nature, his determination, his lips, his eyes, his eyebrows… He remembered it all. Chanyeol could go all day. If only he could erase every part of Kyungsoo he likes; which was basically erasing his whole existence. 

He would do it but it was obvious that he couldn’t do it. Especially now.

Assuming how his mind listed all those things while looking at Kyungsoo at that moment, he knew he was a lost cause.

They had known each other for quite a long time, enough to say that they had spent their childhood and teenage years mostly together. Kyungsoo was the same age as him and they were inseparable they realized both made up the missing pieces of each other. Kyungsoo was quiet but was always listening to Chanyeol. The other one would always talk, knowing that someone was always listening, curious at his every word. They liked the same things and bonded on almost everything. When Chanyeol was bawling for a lost toy, Kyungsoo would relentlessly find it, and when he didn’t, he could just calm him down he tiptoes to give Chanyeol a soft pat on the head. When Chanyeol was in middle school, he had problems with his grades, he was comforted when Kyungsoo was doing badly like he was. When Kyungsoo bottled up all the emotions, only Chanyeol would know how to make him spill it out and make him feel better. 

They cared about each other and it meant so much for Chanyeol. 

More than just something.

Chanyeol couldn’t even recall when he started to feel more than friendship for Kyungsoo. Maybe he never realized that from the very moment they met, he might have liked him since then. It didn’t really bother him at first but as the time went by, it had grown so much that it was too obvious to ignore.

Time always challenges a relationship and Chanyeol would attest to that. Years went by and they saw themselves focusing on different things. They had to spend less time together as their studies and careers made it difficult as they got older. Their friendship started to fade. 

Chanyeol’s feelings for his friend however, became clearer than ever.

Before, Kyungsoo was just always there for him. It was the same for Chanyeol too. They were inseparable. Both grew up having each other. Being there for each other was natural as the air that they breathe.

Losing all the stuff that reminded him of Kyungsoo was easy for him. Having them stored in a box would do the trick, seal them up and throw them somewhere where his eyes can never set their gaze upon. Easy, indeed- if only Chanyeol can do that with his memories.

Are memories that easy to put away? Just like a toy that you’ve lost interest in, and you could just put them in a chest, forget about it and leave it to rot? Chanyeol asked himself and he sure knew the answer. It just didn’t work that way. 

Chanyeol imagined himself lying on his deathbed and all those memories would just burst out from his mind like an old film being shown, as his failing eyesight watches it with no choice; Old but meaningful. Blurry but real.

For years when Kyungsoo was away, Chanyeol took the opportunity to cut it himself.  
He was being selfish, Chanyeol knew that. It was like backstabbing Kyungsoo, with him not knowing the reason why. Kyungsoo came back and the things that he worked so hard to destroy, got fixed the moment Kyungsoo had stood in front of his doorstep, smiling at him.

“How are you doing?”

Was doing good until you came back. He replied in his head. Chanyeol smirked a little, thinking how appropriate for Kyungsoo to ask. Those thoughts reeked of bitterness and he felt guilty.

“Fine as always,“ Chanyeol replied wearing his most reassuring smiles.

“Did you change numbers? You haven’t even replied to my e-mails,” There was a worried tone in Kyungsoo’s voice and it was something that Chanyeol missed for all the years they were apart. It was just like the past. 

And then it dawned on him that he had to lie to his friend.

“I really got busy with work. It took most of my time and I really didn’t want to make you worry about me or anything,” It was partially true. Chanyeol got busy and drowned himself in his masters, as well as building his career as a teacher. Chanyeol also knew Kyungsoo had to work hard too and had it much worse than him. He had to work far from his hometown, as well as prove himself at his workplace that he was worth it to be there. Chanyeol really didn’t want to bother him. Well, that was Chanyeol’s thoughts.

“You know I can tell if you’re lying, Yeol,” 

Chanyeol forgot to breathe for a second.

“No matter how small it was, you would always talk to me. Whine when you’re frustrated or rave about something that made you happy,” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrowed and Chanyeol found himself smiling softly ay Kyungsoo’s words. 

Kyungsoo knew him so well.

“We grew up, Soo. But that doesn’t change the fact we are friends. Even when we haven’t talked for years, I know we are going to be okay. I just know,” Chanyeol grinned at Kyungsoo. It was a sincere one. 

Chanyeol knew they were bestfriends. The bitter truth. They were just that.

“Glad that you still have that stupid grin on your face. I can now count how many teeth you have.” Kyungsoo chuckled and that sound made Chanyeol mirroring his laugh.

“And you are still on it with that weird humor of yours,” he snickered and Kyungsoo reached out his hand to smack Chanyeol’s right cheek playfully.

“Stop hurting me!” Chanyeol whined. Oh how appropriate it was.

He couldn’t deny that he really missed this.

He didn’t hate it. Deep inside him, he really wanted to see Kyungsoo again. His bestfriend just didn’t know anything about his feelings.

Back then, he didn’t want Kyungsoo to move away. He wanted to stop him.  
That was the moment that he almost confessed his feelings for him.

And until now, he wanted to tell him that those feelings had never changed.

“I hope you’re doing great in your agency, Soo” it was a random shift in their conversation, but Chanyeol really had to ask. He suddenly wanted to learn more about the years he had been absent in Kyungsoo’s life. 

“It is stressful, but yeah I am doing great. I enjoy ripping my brain to pieces in search of new ideas. Seriously, I really do.” Kyungsoo smiled at him. 

“So that’s where that line came from,” Chanyeol pointed at the fine line between Kyungsoo’s eyebrows. Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows once again which made Chanyeol smile as it became more obvious.

“Not as nerve- wrecking as proposing to Sohyun though,”

Chanyeol didn’t want to hear that from Kyungsoo’s lips. 

That was the latest e-mail Kyungsoo sent to him and he cried. He had always read Kyungsoo’s e-mails. Chanyeol lied about not seeing them. After reading that one, he immediately deleted it from his inbox and from his mind. He felt so helpless because he saw how Kyungsoo’s feelings grew for his girlfriend on every e-mail sent to him. 

He had let it happen. He had the chance to do something but Chanyeol let it all happen.

Chanyeol’s whole body tensed as he tried to suppress himself from standing up and rushing out of the cafe. He tried so hard to keep his tears from falling from his eyes as the sweetest words he was hearing was not meant for him.

Chanyeol could feel the warmth emitting from the way how Kyungsoo talked about the moment he proposed. How he tried so hard to not feel afraid about doing it since Kyungsoo knew he wouldn’t find anyone that he could love as much in his life.

That smile. That warmth. 

It’s not because of me.

Chanyeol told himself and it was killing him.

He had let himself listen to Kyungsoo while trying to keep himself from breaking down infront of him. The pieces of himself slowly chipping away as hopelessness and pain envelope his whole existence.

Please. Stop.

Without even realizing it, he cried and wished for something. He wanted to stop time and turn it all the way back when he messed it all up. His surroundings started to blur around him. To think that such an impossible wish was the only way to stop the unbearable pain and regret. 

Just this one time. 

Or maybe have the opportunity to stop time. Maybe he could do all the things he ever wanted, before it’s all too late.

Chanyeol could stop Kyungsoo’s lips from muttering sweet words about her. He could stop Kyungsoo talking about the good times he had spent together with Sohyun as a couple and how it grew stronger every single day.

He could just make Kyungsoo stay at this place, stop him from moving anywhere else. 

Chanyeol would not let go of him this time.

Chanyeol wanted to just stare at his face, just for this frozen moment, thinking that all those beautiful eyes were only meant to look at him. Kyungsoo wouldn’t look anywhere else and would find Chanyeol was the one for him.

He could reach out across the table to touch Kyungsoo’s hand to feel his skin against his own.

Chanyeol would do anything to make it happen.

But he could not. Not anymore.

He could not control time. He could not go back in time or at least stop it to give himself the chance to do the things he wanted to do after regret hit him so hard. Time had given him so many chances to make things right but he did not do anything.

He let it all pass him by. 

Instead, he tried to burn the bridge that has linked him to Kyungsoo. He let his cowardness consume him that he did not try to take a leap of faith. He just watched himself getting farther from Kyungsoo, as the flames left him a life full of what ifs and regret.

He just couldn’t stop the tears falling down from his face and Kyungsoo stood up and reached out to him.

“Yeol, is there something wrong? Tell me,” Chanyeol could hear the panic in his voice. Kyungsoo’s hands gripped a little harder at his arms. It was the touch Chanyeol longed for and he dreaded the truth that he had missed the chance to feel more.

He felt his words getting choked down his throat. Seeing how worried Kyungsoo looked infront of him. Kyungsoo’s eyes were searching for anything that would tell him the reason of Chanyeol’s tears.

“Chanyeol, you know you can tell me anything right?” 

Chanyeol wanted to tell him. He wanted to. Before it all ends.

He looked down, still doing a bad job at stopping tears from falling. Chanyeol then looked up to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes filled with concern. 

He took a deep breath, using all the strength he had to keep himself intact. He then gave Kyungsoo his sincerest smile. 

The words that followed it were riddled with the sense of anxiousness that gets even stronger with the feeling of pain and regret. 

A sentence that was made up with a lie and the truth.

“I’m just happy that you are happy,”

Chanyeol broke himself to pieces just to see the brightest smile from the love of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated. <3


End file.
